Victim mentality is about feeling entitled to something (respect, position, love, etc.) while absolving ourselves of any and all responsibility in the matter.
We don't have control over everything that happens to us in life. However, we certainly have a choice as to our responses to and perception of things that happen. The difference lies not in whether something is positive or negative; it is how we view it and how we allow it to affect us. The lens through which we perceive everything in life is our mindset.
Some people perpetually ‘make mountains out of molehills.' They see something as being worse than it really is and perceive their life to be a constant struggle that can never be enjoyed. Others choose to make sense of life's setbacks as great opportunities for growth and learning. If you resonate more with the first type of person, you more than likely have some degree of a victim mentality.
Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the nonpharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.” – John W. Gardner
Whether you believe it or not, your reality is mostly a reflection of your own mindset. You've also got the power within yourself to turn things around. The less truth you see in the preceding statements, the more likely it is that you have a victim mentality.
Even if it feels more convenient or ‘normal' to react emotionally, and complain and feel angry (it usually does), the knowledge that none of these responses will help improve any given situation should provide a good impetus for change.
Allowing the victim mentality to take center stage will only limit a person's ability and growth. They could be braver, stronger, and smarter, but instead, they refuse to rationalize the situation and come up with creative solutions.
To really make great things happen, and generally feel good about life regardless of the circumstances, requires changing to a better mindset.
Allowing ourselves the power to make a choice as to how to respond, and to see life through a different lens, will move us from feeling like a victim to actually becoming a victor in the game of life. It's not going to be an easy change, but it will make you an infinitely better person overall.
Stop validating your victim mentality. Shake off your self-defeating drama and embrace your innate ability to recover and achieve." – Steve Maraboli Click To TweetWhy be a worrier, when you can be a warrior?
Do these things to successfully overcome a victim mentality and be on your way to becoming a victor for life!
Victim to Victor – Recognize That You Always Have a Choice
When bad things happen, it is easy to react with negativity and anger. Getting angry and expressing it loudly usually ends up making the situation worse, sealing the whole bad experience. Even our choice of words and whatever we tell ourselves can powerfully shape our reality.
Be in charge of your emotions and know that you have a choice to react more intentionally and intelligently. Do not let your emotions get the best of you. Calm down and know that this, too, shall pass.
Victim Mindset Shift – Become Keenly Aware of Negative Thoughts
It is very possible that you may not even be aware of your negative thoughts. Becoming more self-aware will allow you to question your own thoughts and feelings. You need to determine if your beliefs and thoughts are relevant to your current life and the future you wish to have.
Or are they a reflection of a past you wish to leave behind? Now that you know better and are willing to let go of your negative thoughts, gradually release them.
“We all have a story. The difference is: do you use the story to empower yourself? Or do you use your story to keep yourself a victim? The question itself empowers you to change your life.” – Sunny Dawn Johnston Click To TweetDo not fight your negative thoughts as this will only strengthen their hold in your mind. Allow them to come and go by merely letting them be, like a visitor who will choose to leave your house if nobody is home. Accept them, but don't attach emotion to them.
Get Rid of Your Limiting Beliefs
Our own limiting beliefs are strong convictions that limit us in every way. We simply believe them, even if there are few facts to support them. Our limiting beliefs are the auto-responders of our victim responses.
Turn those victim responses into creator responses. Instead of succumbing to fear and worry automatically when problems arrive, allow yourself to be proactive and find ways to fix problems. Do not allow limiting beliefs to drive your wheel of life.
Do not be quick in finding things or someone else to blame. Empower yourself and believe that you have what it takes to change things for the better. You already have the power within!
You do need to accept responsibility and start changing your beliefs. You also need to stay positive, even if things don't go right, and consciously choose to respond in a different manner than you normally do.
You do not have to succumb to being a victim, take back your power. Your real power is acknowledging that you have a choice to design your life no matter what your present circumstances are.
Your real power is knowing for sure that you are not a victim, you are the architect of your life who is responsible for creating the authentic life you desire.
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Victoria Parham (VP) is a woman of compassion, vision, faith, and purpose, she believes in meeting people where they are in their lives and offers a no-nonsense approach in her message, training, and coaching style.
Outspoken, wise, direct, thoughtful, and sometimes provocative, her message is always with love and respect. Victoria knows from her own experiences that we all have the power within us to make decisions and choices that can lead to living an authentic life that is enriching, filled with purpose, personal satisfaction, on-going growth, joy, and gratitude.Victoria believes that when we discover who we truly are, only then can we become our most authentic selves.
Outspoken, wise, direct, thoughtful, and sometimes provocative, her message is always with love and respect. Victoria knows from her own experiences that we all have the power within us to make decisions and choices that can lead to living an authentic life that is enriching, filled with purpose, personal satisfaction, on-going growth, joy, and gratitude.Victoria believes that when we discover who we truly are, only then can we become our most authentic selves.
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